Saturday, April 17, 2010

ESPN Sports Center proves once again it is pure trash

I can go on a two hour rant explaining why ESPN Sports Center has gone from one of the greatest shows on TV to the most unwatchable show on TV, but I am going to leave that alone for now and just deal with the latest abomination from that show.

This afternoon, Colorado Rockies pitcher Ubaldo Jimenez pitched the first no-hitter in the Rockies 18 seasons in Major League Baseball. I had turned my back on Sports Center years ago because the vomit bags were getting too expensive to replace. I went against my better instinct and turned on Sports Center tonight, wanting to see the final out of the Jimenez no hitter. I assumed I wouldn't have to wait for long as surely the no-hitter is going to be the top story. I will never underestimate how badly ESPN can butcher a program again, never.

According to whatever monkeys and baboons they have working as editors and directors, the top story was not the no-hitter ... it was a 20 inning game that ended 2-1. How on Earth does a boring 20 inning game that nobody outside of St. Louis or New York cared about get the lead story over a pitcher throwing a no-hitter ??? Just another reason to hate ESPN in my book, and another example of just how full of themselves they are over at that station. ESPN not only takes the stand that the world of sports would cease to exist without them, but they also feel as if they have the authority and the power to dictate to you which story is important at which time.

Let's be honest here for a second ... is there seriously an anchor on Sports Center that you don't want to reach through the TV and strangle? Without a shadow of a doubt, the most annoying talking heads on TV. I will truly celebrate the day when that heap of cow manure goes off the air for good. Eventually, or should I say hopefully, the citizens of this country will figure out what a waste of an hour of their life it is to listen to these clowns repeating the same things they have been saying for the past 10 years. The next time I hear Chris Berman say "bbbaaaaaaaa baaack baaack back back back back" or "he .... could ..... go ..... all .... the .... way", the closest person to me is getting stabbed in the eyes with a pencil.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Another World Record to Remember

You know, I thought back in July when I wrote about Joey Chestnut and his "record setting" performance of eating 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes that I had officially seen it all. I was wrong. Living in Los Angeles I have been hearing about the LA Angels world record attempt during the second game of the baseball season against the Twins. They never really mentioned what the attempt would be, so I wondered. I thought maybe they were going to take a shot at the attendance record for a single game.

I should've known better. I should've known it was going to be an incredibly stupid and meaningless record. The kind of record that made Bobby and Cindy Brady's attempt at the world teeter totter record seem important. Last night I watched in horror as everybody in the stands at Angels Stadium started putting on a red fleece blanket with arm holes. The Angels set the record for "the largest gathering of people wearing fleece blankets of one color in one place." They "shattered" the old record by nearly 30,000, which was set on March 5th of this year.

SO WHAT ?!?!?!?! Who cares, a bunch of people wore a robe backwards that was the same color when they were in the same location. That's something to be ashamed of, not proud of. The best part is that a Guinness World Records adjudicator was actually on hand to verify the record. Guinness needs to be kicked out of the world record business if they permit such records to be validated by them. Seriously, when is enough? When does Guinness say no to somebody's idea? If eating hot dogs and wearing blankets are now world records, where is the line? Can I walk into a wall for three consecutive hours and make a name for myself? Anybody know what the world record is for consecutive days of clipping at least part of one of your fingernails? I can keep that string going for the rest of my life.

Making a big deal out of absolutely nothing, welcome to new aged journalism. You know why stupid record attempts like these never happened 20 years ago? Because the media wouldn't give it the time of day. If a tree falls in the forrest and nobody is around to hear it, did it make a sound? If nobody writes about a world record, did the record happen? The whole point of these stupid record attempts we see so much of lately is the media now gobbles it up. I miss the good old days, when reporters had integrity and didn't report garbage like this. The record will be short lived, once football season comes along you know some attention hound team is going to make a run at the Angels record, then all the fans who were at Angels Stadium yesterday wearing their stupid red fleece blanket with arm holes will only have the memory of how they did as they were instructed to do and looked like complete fools while doing it.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

The New Thug U

Back in the 80's the University of Miami, Florida was tabbed with the nickname Thug U. A well earned nickname, as the football team pretty much took on any player who had talent ... regardless of their past. Stole three cars, robbed a couple convenience stores and punched your mother? Who cares, if you can play football, Miami had a scholarship for you. To Miami's credit, they have shed themselves of the Thug U label, putting an emphasis on not only how a player performs on the field, but how they perform off the field as well. Thug U became a thing of the past.

Well, until Chip Kelly took control (cough) of the University of Oregon's football team. Kelly is a classic enabler, minimizing the severity of the problem and hypocritically supporting the star players on the team while casting off the average players without a paddle. Jamere Holland, a wide receiver for the Ducks, was kicked off the team completely for making a post on his Facebook page criticizing Chip Kelly ... and star QB Jeremiah Masoli was merely suspended for the season, permitted to use his red shirt, and is allowed to practice with the team after breaking into a house and stealing items. Apparently, making a critical post on Facebook is worse than being charged with felony burglary for stealing two laptops and a guitar.

Then we have star RB LaMichael James, choking his ex girlfriend and throwing her to the ground. There is something seriously wrong with a human being that places their hands around another human being's neck and squeezes. What, you ask, was the punishment handed down by Kelly for this outrageous act? If making a derogatory post on Facebook is a reason to kick a player off the team, surely James was to face an execution squad when he walked into Kelly's office. He was suspended for one game, the all important match up against powerhouse New Mexico. Is this a joke? Even better, Defensive End Matt Simms was kicked off the team for fighting a man. So, at Oregon, fighting a man will get you kicked off the team while choking a woman is a one game suspension. Once again, Simms is a nobody and James is a star. The hypocrisy displayed by Chip Kelly is shocking. I wonder if James still gets a one game suspension if he choked Chip Kelly's daughter? With Kelly's track record, my guess is James gets kicked off the team and Masoli is given the one game suspension. He made it very clear he isn't going to kick both of his thug stars off the team.

WR Garrett Emby was an accomplice with Masoli in the burglary. Kicker Rob Beard got drunk, pushed some women, and got beat up so badly he was hospitalized. Kicker Mike Bowlin also got beat up in the same incident while fighting with his fellow kicker. Linebacker Kike Alonso got arrested for drunk driving. It's been quite an offseason for the Ducks. Add all of this to the well publicized on field punch last season from LeGarrette Blount, who followed the punch up with a five minute rampage around the stadium where he challenged a team mate, the police and fans to a fight. Thug U is alive and well, changing locations from the east coast to the west coast.

Chip Kelly and his win at all costs method is a disgrace to the University of Oregon, a disgrace to the Pac 10 and a disgrace to college football in general. If a player plans on screwing up while under Kelly's watch, they better make sure they have the stats to keep them on the team. It's not what you do off the field with Kelly's Ducks, it's what you do on the field that matters. The next Lawrence Phillips and the next Maurice Clarett is going to come from the University of Oregon, you can take that to the bank.